the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
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Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
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I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.