I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos