A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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