Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
