The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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