new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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