he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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