You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
