When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
