There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
