The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
