Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
