I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.