Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
