I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
