I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
