I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
