I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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