Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Naked. naked and bneed help.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
