well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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