Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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