Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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