I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize