I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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