YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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