K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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