Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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