did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
