she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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