I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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