Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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