Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
