i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
