I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
