so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
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