Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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