I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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