I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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