i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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