They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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