dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
no, he came in my armpit
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
