marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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