You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
