you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
