you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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