She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
