We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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