I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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