p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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