Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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