and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
