So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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