yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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