we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
