FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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